but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
