they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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