He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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