we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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