the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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