I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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