Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
