Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
