Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i think my cat just said my name.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
