I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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