evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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