apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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