She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
