So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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