Betty ford says i'm here all night
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
