I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
