she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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