Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
