If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
