I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
