fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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