Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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