he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
