You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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