I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
