why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
