no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
