Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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