I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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