there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
