I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
