Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She even gives head with a lisp.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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