nut hugger
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
