When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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