You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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