she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
