She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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