i just google imaged poop.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
