At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
