your room smells of hookers.
And success
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
