Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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