I'm lost and stupid without you.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
