He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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