I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
