You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
