She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
