What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
