He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
