A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
