I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
