rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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