WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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