Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
