Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
