brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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