What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
