Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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