I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Shame is for Republicans.
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