I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize