Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
