sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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