Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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