I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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