my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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