Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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