Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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