He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
