Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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