Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
