the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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