They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
