I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
